FLASH FICTION ENTRY #1

As I walked down the silent road, I thought about what my parents said about me. I can tell if they are lying, because I can see words, but they can’t hear what I say. As I watched them talk, I just saw what I had known about myself for years. A disappointment. A failure. A psycho. Everything that I saw just crushed me. I had spent years just trying to lie to myself and say that THEY were all lying and parents loved me. Guess not, huh. So, when I got to the end of the road, I saw that my precious lake was still there. My safe haven. The only place where I could hear sound. It was like walking into a new world. One where my voice would not go unheard. One where I could hear everything. It was peaceful, but loud. Chaotic, but quiet. Nobody would notice if I was gone in this silent world that I live in. I wonder. I just wonder. No! I shouldn’t. But if I just did… I jumped into the lake and swam away. I swam. I swam and I swam and I swam and I swam. I lost count of the minutes after a while. I tried to tread water to conserve energy and so I wouldn’t drown. After a while, I saw land. It was a strange looking place. It looked like someone fell asleep on the ocean. But, no matter how much I swam, I couldn’t get to the island. Eventually, I lost strength. I started sinking. As I sank, I wondered, was I not worthy? Did I do something wrong? I struggled and struggled but the lake, maybe an ocean because of its size, wouldn’t give me up. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep embrace of the ocean. When I woke up, it was dark. Like, I can't see anything because I was blindfolded, dark. It was silent, but I’ve gotten used to it. I swam and swam and swam as much as I could to the top of the ocean. But here's the thing, in pitch blackness, you can’t see a thing. You don’t know if you're going right or left, up or down or if you’re still even moving. So, I just stopped. Lied onto my back, and floated. Slowly, I started rising. Because of buoyancy, I floated to the surface. Only after I broke the water’s surface, I noticed it. A glistening coat of scales. A tail.

“Ohmyfrickinggodwhattheheckwhatisgoingon!” I freaked out. I was already a freak, but this proved it. So, I’m a mermaid, or merman, I don’t know. But, my hearing problem is still a problem. It’s even worse now. The lake I loved, now a silent memory. It made my days bearable, but now it’s gone. I don't hear anything, but I can see it all. All the different sounds, made into words. I scream. I cry. The most precious thing in my life had been taken away, but for what, a tail and set of scales? It didn't matter. I didn’t matter. It always ended like this. All my other lives had been just like this. This life and every other life didn't matter because it was a never-ending cycle. Every single time, I would lose the only thing precious to me. When I was alone, all the memories broke me. Ruined me. And since I had no noise or comfort in my life, the memories came back in full force. Me crying. Me screaming. Me wallowing in sadness and guilt. But this life was interesting, because the world decided my punishment was over and that I could live my life in freedom, my tail would help.

I was confused about why the world gave me something I could use for good purposes. But I didn’t question and I put my bad memories behind me, and swam into the deafening silence.